As the title says, I'm confused and do not know if my bf actually loves me now.
We've been together for 2yrs plus. We used to celebrate our month-saries bt not anymore. well that doesnt make a great difference cos we spend almost everyday together.We live jus few blocks away.
He's very possessive of me and made me give up all my frens, to the extenent where I deleted all my msn contacts. I changed my facebook password so i do not hav e chance to contact anyone. I did what he asked me to do because I love him a lot. He claims he's jus afraid I'll fall for my friends. I told him I'm afraid I'll lose everything if he leaves me and he promised me he won't. Yet again and again, he did things like throwing me out of his house when we are quarreling and leaving me at a strange place when we are outside as he will jus drive off. I'll have to take a cab home.
Just recently, I couldn't stand it anymore and tried to kill myself. Yes I did not die. when he saw my slashed wrist, would expect him to care for me and ask me what's wrong. Instead, I get a scolding frm him for trying to end my No concern from him, yet gpt pushed by him by accident and got blueblack marks on my thigh.
I would say I have no freedom at all. However, I'm willing to do everything for him as i really love him. All I want in exchange is a little more love from him. U might say I'm silly but love can really make one do stupid things. All I got in return was his bad temper, his scoldings and his flirting with other gals. If I have no freedom at all, what makes him think it's fair to go clubbing until the next morning and insisting that I cannot tag along?
I'm tired of all this stuff, but I don't want to give up my first love. I wished from the start that he could be my last. His sweetness towards me never lasted long. During that short period I fell so deeply for him. I can never tell him how i feel. I tried a few times and iI got scoldings from him for always wasting time talking about dthis kind of rubbish.
My eyes are swollen from crying to myself every night alone. I really hope that someone here who reads my thread can tell me what I should do. Leaving him is not an easy thing.
On a side note, I kind of envy him tat he has someone hu love him so much. I kind of pity him that he do not know how to cherish this.
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