You have been tagged as best friends forever (BFF), been by each other’s side as both of you sailed through break-ups, fights and crisis situations in personal lives, known each other’s little secrets, been partners in mischief and fun; played an audience to each other’s drunken confessions, and of course been secretly jealous if someone else ever tried to take your place. Sounds like a nostalgia-provoking hearty tale?
But imagine waking up to the fact that things have changed, and priorities have been redefined. You can no more call up your friend and ask him/her to hop out and join you for a drive; sleepovers may be restricted, he/she might not engage in discussions over the new guy/girl in office, let alone stalking and flirting, etc.
“I was dumbfounded when she announced the news of her marriage to me!” exclaims Siya, 22, who had gone for her friend’s wedding last month. “I still can’t come to terms with it. I was at first shocked and sad… I was never too fond of the boyfriend, now husband. Being her best friend, I was expected to be actively participating in all the ceremonies and rituals. But believe me, it was extremely annoying to have people/relatives (read matchmakers) settling their eyes on me and asking, ‘So, when are you gonna follow suit?’ The worst thing being that you can only swallow it all and smile,” she adds. “But yeah, it was a reason to celebrate and dress up and flaunt (giggles).”
One is generally struck with jealousy, angst and guilt at the friend’s wedding, explains psychologist Seema Hingorrany. “I’ve had people coming to me and crying that their best friend’s gotten married while they’re still single. They feel like a victim in the social affair,” adds Seema.
“Wedding preparations of my best friend was fun but at the same time I felt bad. I console myself with the fact that it will happen to me soon. Life goes on and my time will come as well,” laments Kriti Pawa, 22, a publicist. Akshat Rawat, 23, an engineer, says, “My friend’s hitched. I can’t believe this. He doesn’t want to come out drinking late nights and have the usual guys night out scene anymore. I’m shocked to see him getting slaughtered! (laughs).” Though he’s got no issue with the friend’s wife, he refuses to attend friends’ weddings anymore.
But as Seema suggests, “Take it as your chance to find your guy/girl.” So glam up and make the most of it!
Singapore Wedding, Singpoare travel
